Some of these quotations are funny or quirky, some are profound, some are informative, and many are combinations of two or more of these. This confounds my desire about what to list first; many of the quotations tug at me to be listed before others. So they are in no particular order. You will have to read them all to assure yourself of getting the ones you like, and they are all worth reading.
Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), French magistrate and gastronome
It has been shown as proof positive that carefully prepared chocolate is as healthful a food as it is pleasant; that it is nourishing and easily digested ... that it is above all helpful to people who must do a great deal of mental work.
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.
The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.
Richard P. Feynman
"The message I intended to convey was, nobody thinks of Madame Curie as a woman, as feminine, with beautiful hair, bare breasts and all that. They only think of the radium part."
Benjamin Franklin
"There never was a good war or a bad peace."
Alexandr Solzhenitsyn
"If only there were evil people somewhere, insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?"
The sweetest thing is knowledge.
San Francisco, 1993, Burial of the American Dream
Those arrested were charged with "conspiracy to serve food," a felony offense.
e. e. cummings
to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting.
Walter Lippman
True opinions can prevail only if the facts to which they refer are known; if they are not known, false ideas are just as effective as true ones, if not a little more effective.
Mark Twain, paraphrased
Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense.
Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
Robert Heinlein
The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship.
Socrates in Phaedrus
The discovery of the alphabet will create forgetfulness in the learners' souls, because they will not use their memories. They will trust to the external written characters and not remember of themselves.
Emily Dickinson
"Opinion is a flitting thing, but truth outlasts the sun."
John Cage
"I can't understand why people are frightened by new ideas. I'm frightened of old ones."
John Locke
New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not already common.
Friedrich von Schiller
"Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain."
(The Maid of Orleans, 1801)
Sean Connery
There is nothing more boring, more annoying, more maddening than being told to do something by someone who is incompetent.
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
"Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relatively to other such matter; second, telling other people to do so. The first kind is unpleasant and ill paid; the second is pleasant and highly paid."
Greek saying
First secure an independent income, then practice virtue.
Albert Einstein
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18.
Pablo Picasso
"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
James Bovard
Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
Napolean Bonaparte
Ten persons who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.
"Geniuses are like thunderstorms. They go against the wind, terrify people, cleanse the air."
Lin Yutang (1895-1976, Chinese-American writer, translator, and editor)
"When there are too many policeman, there can be no liberty; when there are too many soldiers, there can be no peace; when there are too many lawyers, there can be no justice."
Francis Crick
Free will is located in or near the anterior cingulate sulcus.
Eric Postpischil
"Malcontent" is politically incorrect. I am "differently contented."
Using seatbelts increases your chance of getting cancer.
The right to an opinion does not make an opinion right.
Those who preach ignorance fear the truth.
Exercising your muscles makes them stronger. Exercising your rights makes them stronger too.
Unknown Authors
Always mount a scratch monkey.
C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
Four out of five politicians prefer unarmed, ignorant peasants.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
Hoare's Law: Inside every large program is a small program trying to get out.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
If guns are outlawed, how will liberals collect taxes?
If the government wants us to respect the law, it should set a better example.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
The gene pool needs a lifeguard.
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

Compilation and portions © copyright 1998 by Eric Postpischil.